I haven't baked in forever. I didn't realize until tonight how much I missed it. I need to do it more. It calms me down. Anyway, I made two of my old standards, brownies and lemon bars. However, I am so out of sorts and horribly anxious about everything I actually had to look up the recipe for lemon bars. I don't like this. I don't like this at all. However, watching my flatmates swoon over both deserts reaffirmed my believe I can do this.
I listened to Sleater-Kinney while I did this. Not my usual punk rock selection of the Dwarves or Social D, but I needed something new and different, but at the same time familiar. So, I went with an old favorite. And it was just what I needed. I felt like I was 24 again, just starting out with my baking dancing around my mother's kitchen, singing along. It was perfect.
So now to the life stuff. My visa here in Ireland is done on Halloween. I am more than likely not going to be able to get a job here and even if I did, the events of this last year (sans meeting Marc, Steph and a few others) have not really made the best impression on me. I would like to go to the UK. However, the likelihood this will happen is slim to none. I don't possess any special skills, I am not an IT wiz, so basically I am screwed. I always have the option of moving back to the Czech Republic, which I am considering, or trying to find a job in another EU country. I am in the process of trying to get a EU blue card, and the fact I have a masters will help, but still it looks slim.
So I am at an impasse. Do I move back to the US in hopes of getting a job which will eventually let me move to the UK or do I move back to the CR? I am still applying to jobs all over Europe, but I am not hopeful (a rare thing for me). Anyway. There it is. That is what the baking is about tonight. Life choices.
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