Brownies, Lemon bars, Punk Rock and life issues.

I haven't baked in forever. I didn't realize until tonight how much I missed it. I need to do it more. It calms me down. Anyway, I made two of my old standards, brownies and lemon bars. However, I am so out of sorts and horribly anxious about everything I actually had to look up the recipe for lemon bars. I don't like this. I don't like this at all. However, watching my flatmates swoon over both deserts reaffirmed my believe I can do this.

I listened to Sleater-Kinney while I did this. Not my usual punk rock selection of the Dwarves or Social D, but I needed something new and different, but at the same time familiar. So, I went with an old favorite. And it was just what I needed. I felt like I was 24 again, just starting out with my baking dancing around my mother's kitchen, singing along. It was perfect.

So now to the life stuff. My visa here in Ireland is done on Halloween. I am more than likely not going to be able to get a job here and even if I did, the events of this last year (sans meeting Marc, Steph and a few others) have not really made the best impression on me. I would like to go to the UK. However, the likelihood this will happen is slim to none. I don't possess any special skills, I am not an IT wiz, so basically I am screwed. I always have the option of moving back to the Czech Republic, which I am considering, or trying to find a job in another EU country. I am in the process of trying to get a EU blue card, and the fact I have a masters will help, but still it looks slim.

So I am at an impasse. Do I move back to the US in hopes of getting a job which will eventually let me move to the UK or do I move back to the CR? I am still applying to jobs all over Europe, but I am not hopeful (a rare thing for me). Anyway. There it is. That is what the baking is about tonight. Life choices.

Snickerdoodles, psychobilly, and stress

The actual name of this post should be "Snickerdoodles, brownies, psychobilly and stress" as snickerdoodles turned out to not be enough to get rid of all the nervous energy I have right now, not that brownies helped, but I am a little better. I have had to come to terms with the fact my baking has been off since I got home from being in the states. I need to figure out what is causing it. However, considering Monika and Lisa both helped me finish off most of a batch of cookies, I think I may be the only one who feels this way. Hopefully after the stress of my thesis is taken care of and the financial aid lady gets back to me my normal mad baking skills will return and I will be happy.

I think the fact I was trying a new snickerdoodle recipe today didn't help. I wasn't used to putting salt in the dough and added it late so some of the cookies were super salty and others not. Maybe a second go of the same recipe will help, as long as I actually put the salt in when I am supposed to. Also, I think today should have been a bluegrass or jazz day. Maybe the calmer music would have chilled me out more? Who knows.

Lastly, memo to self: pick up real cookie sheet.While the roasting pan worked okay, I would feel better if I didn't have to resort to improvising on things other than the recipe. Oh well. Live and learn.

Tomorrow I think I am going to try bacon wrapped chicken breast stuffed with something and grilled veggies. Yeah that sounds good. Too much sweet stuff today.

Nothing cooking today

I haven't really had time to cook or create recently and it has been driving me insane. I am more than ready to get back in the kitchen and start baking and experimenting with flavors and getting rid of all this nervous energy. So.... look for more to come. Hopefully even a recipe or two.

Frittata and Bach

We are reading two plays by Sean O'Casey in my theatre class today. In order to ballance out the "OH MY GOD!!!!!!! Do these people ever write anything funny?" feeling (they do, by the way, just not often), I am making tomato, red bell pepper, and feta frittatas for the class. Normally I would create something with insane amounts of chocolate to raise those endorphins, the ones a kin to falling in love, but the Professor, the always amazing Frank McGuinness, is a diabetic. So in the spirit of killing your professor, or at least sending him into a diabetic coma, is a bad idea, savory it is today. I was originally a little daunted by the idea at first, until I realized frittatas are nothing more than crustless quiches. With any luck they will be good and it will add one more thing to my list of what to make for dinner, as they are super easy to throw together.

I wish there was a reason why I decided to cook to Bach today, alas, there isn't. I just seemed to be in a fugue mood and who does fugues better than good ole J.S. Bach? Nobody I tell you, NOBODY. And as I usually feel royal, I popped in Bernard Labadie's "Le Violon's du Roy". It was the perfect choice.

Woodkid and gingerbread muffins and my own creation.

Sometimes you want to make something so you search and search for a recipe that suits but never find it. Sometimes you make the closest thing but sometimes you decide to get creative. Today was options 2. I started by making my new favorite super spicey gingerbread muffins. Seriously, I love them. I think they taste like Christmas. However, I was also in the mood for something super chocolately, but not my famous death by chocalate brownies. So I decided to make muffins (I'm on a kick, what can I say). I spent a good 30-40 minutes looking for a chocolate muffin recipe I likes and came up with bubbkiss so I decided to create my own. I have never made my own baking recipe before. Cooking is a bit different. You add a little spice here, a little something there and can sort of fix it. Baking, once it is in the oven if it doesn't work there is no going back. You have a heap of crap on your hands. So I was nervous. Thankfully, my housemate Brendan's brother, and my favorite guinnea pig, Stephen was here to be my test subject.... again. After they came out of the oven and cooled a bit, I offered him one and got the "These are gorgeous" thumbs up and actual mouth words too. So I will be making them again. And I'll even post the recipe for y'all to make 'em yourselves.

Strangely I was also in the something different music wise too. Earlier this year my friend Mirek introduced me to this French band Woodkid. I don't even know how to classify them, but I totally dig them. Like a strange mix between post-progressive and French pop, they are a weird mix of angst and joy, longing and hope. I highly recommend them.

Gillie's made-up chocolate muffins.
2 1/2 cup flour
1 cup sugar
1 tbsp dutch chocolate cocoa powder
2 tsp baking powder
2 tsp pure vanilla extract
1 cup boiling water
250 grams mix of semi-sweet and milk chocolate squares
1/2 cup butter
2 medium eggs

pre-heat oven to 375 degrees
Melt chocolate squares and butter together in pot.
mix dry ingredints together, including vanilla extract
fold in eggs
add cup of water
pour in chocolate/buttter mixture
stir until smooth.
Fill paper muffin wrappers until anywhere between 1/2-3/4 full depending on how big you want muffins to be.
bake for 35 minutes.
makes anywhere between 9-12 muffins.

Chocolate cookies, gingerbread muffins and Swing

Today I tried out a couple of new recipes, one for uber-chocolate cookies and one for gingerbread muffins. The cookies were a disaster.... like I can't even look at them as they make me sad and the muffins are heavenly, spicey and glorious. I have to figure out what went wrong with the cookies, as they were really meally and icky. Maybe too much flour? Who knows?

Today I was in the mood for some 1940's fabulousness, music wise. So on went my Benny Goodman jango station and as I puttered round my kitchen I sang my little heart out and when I wasn't singing I was dancing along. I am sure anyone who passed by the window thought I was mad, but who cares? Not me. I have gingerbread muffins and they don't.

Garlic Cheesy Mashed Potatoes and Neko Case

While this combination of food and song may not make any sense (although there are those who believe very strongly that Neko goes well with everything) there was never any question in my mind that the savory and sultry needed to happen together.

I have been doing a lot of sweet stuff baking recently. Cupcakes, brownies, muffins..... you get the idea. So when I woke up this morning I was in a "I need comfort food of a different sort"; not that the sweets weren't magical, beccause they were, at least according to my housemate Brendan who ate a fair share of yesterday's brownies. So I rummaged in my pantry, looking for something of the savory variety when it hit me that I hadn't played around with mashed potatoes in a while. I thought about doing a quiche with mashed potato crust but quickly disccarded the idea in favor of an old favorite of mine.... mashed pototoes. I mean really, something is wrong with you if you don't get comfort from the smooth creamy yumminess of really good mashed potatoes.

As for Neko Case, I needed some really good proactive sadness music. None of this sitting around moping shit for me yeterday. Hell no. I had mashed potatoes to make and she may be sad and filled with angst, but she isn't stagnant or even able to just let her agnst consume her, she is always doing other things, even being angry. But most importantly there is a hope to it... and I like it.