Brownies, Lemon bars, Punk Rock and life issues.

I haven't baked in forever. I didn't realize until tonight how much I missed it. I need to do it more. It calms me down. Anyway, I made two of my old standards, brownies and lemon bars. However, I am so out of sorts and horribly anxious about everything I actually had to look up the recipe for lemon bars. I don't like this. I don't like this at all. However, watching my flatmates swoon over both deserts reaffirmed my believe I can do this.

I listened to Sleater-Kinney while I did this. Not my usual punk rock selection of the Dwarves or Social D, but I needed something new and different, but at the same time familiar. So, I went with an old favorite. And it was just what I needed. I felt like I was 24 again, just starting out with my baking dancing around my mother's kitchen, singing along. It was perfect.

So now to the life stuff. My visa here in Ireland is done on Halloween. I am more than likely not going to be able to get a job here and even if I did, the events of this last year (sans meeting Marc, Steph and a few others) have not really made the best impression on me. I would like to go to the UK. However, the likelihood this will happen is slim to none. I don't possess any special skills, I am not an IT wiz, so basically I am screwed. I always have the option of moving back to the Czech Republic, which I am considering, or trying to find a job in another EU country. I am in the process of trying to get a EU blue card, and the fact I have a masters will help, but still it looks slim.

So I am at an impasse. Do I move back to the US in hopes of getting a job which will eventually let me move to the UK or do I move back to the CR? I am still applying to jobs all over Europe, but I am not hopeful (a rare thing for me). Anyway. There it is. That is what the baking is about tonight. Life choices.

Snickerdoodles, psychobilly, and stress

The actual name of this post should be "Snickerdoodles, brownies, psychobilly and stress" as snickerdoodles turned out to not be enough to get rid of all the nervous energy I have right now, not that brownies helped, but I am a little better. I have had to come to terms with the fact my baking has been off since I got home from being in the states. I need to figure out what is causing it. However, considering Monika and Lisa both helped me finish off most of a batch of cookies, I think I may be the only one who feels this way. Hopefully after the stress of my thesis is taken care of and the financial aid lady gets back to me my normal mad baking skills will return and I will be happy.

I think the fact I was trying a new snickerdoodle recipe today didn't help. I wasn't used to putting salt in the dough and added it late so some of the cookies were super salty and others not. Maybe a second go of the same recipe will help, as long as I actually put the salt in when I am supposed to. Also, I think today should have been a bluegrass or jazz day. Maybe the calmer music would have chilled me out more? Who knows.

Lastly, memo to self: pick up real cookie sheet.While the roasting pan worked okay, I would feel better if I didn't have to resort to improvising on things other than the recipe. Oh well. Live and learn.

Tomorrow I think I am going to try bacon wrapped chicken breast stuffed with something and grilled veggies. Yeah that sounds good. Too much sweet stuff today.

Nothing cooking today

I haven't really had time to cook or create recently and it has been driving me insane. I am more than ready to get back in the kitchen and start baking and experimenting with flavors and getting rid of all this nervous energy. So.... look for more to come. Hopefully even a recipe or two.

Frittata and Bach

We are reading two plays by Sean O'Casey in my theatre class today. In order to ballance out the "OH MY GOD!!!!!!! Do these people ever write anything funny?" feeling (they do, by the way, just not often), I am making tomato, red bell pepper, and feta frittatas for the class. Normally I would create something with insane amounts of chocolate to raise those endorphins, the ones a kin to falling in love, but the Professor, the always amazing Frank McGuinness, is a diabetic. So in the spirit of killing your professor, or at least sending him into a diabetic coma, is a bad idea, savory it is today. I was originally a little daunted by the idea at first, until I realized frittatas are nothing more than crustless quiches. With any luck they will be good and it will add one more thing to my list of what to make for dinner, as they are super easy to throw together.

I wish there was a reason why I decided to cook to Bach today, alas, there isn't. I just seemed to be in a fugue mood and who does fugues better than good ole J.S. Bach? Nobody I tell you, NOBODY. And as I usually feel royal, I popped in Bernard Labadie's "Le Violon's du Roy". It was the perfect choice.